When I talk to people and they are impressed with what I do,
Appreciation manifests in front of me as food.
I see the appreciation, I eat the salty and savory meaty soup as it spills over my hands
over to my elbows. I smear it around my lips to my chin, up my cheeks and across the bridge
Of my nose. I shove it into my nostrils and snort it deeper in. I sneeze it out and all the chunky bits and syrupy sauce is airborne.
It instantly vaporizes and floats around my head blocking my vision, engulf my thoughts and goal/ motivation. I inhale the sweet gas and know this is all I want.
So when I talk to people I want to steer attention to something I think people will like.
I don’t want to take up all the time and focus for a selfish need for fulfillment~~people wouldn’t like selfishness~~or so I hold back and feel guilty and feel like I’m boasting just fantasizing about that meat mixture.